Just a little note

 I want to tell you guys a story.


I'm currently a counselor at the Especially For Youth program, or EFY. This program is centered around the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and is focused on bringing youth to Christ. This program is a blast, with gospel classes and devotionals, but also with dances and games and just going crazy. As a counselor I am pretty much in charge of a group of girls for the 5 days of the camp. I get them up in the morning, try and get them to go to sleep at night, have to walk with them pretty much everywhere they go. We also team up with the guy counselors and their group of boys to create a company. So for 5 days I and one(or 2) other counselors are in charge of 24 kids, preparing lessons and leading games and having to be super fun and cool to 14 year olds every minute. It's a physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually demanding job but I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Well, my first week as a counselor was a little rough. I had a week of training prior and thought I was ready to go! Monday was good for a first day. Met my girls, who seemed really sweet, met up with my co-counselors who are awesome, and didn't forget anything too vital. I was exhausted but thought things went well. Tuesday was a different story.

I woke up feeling like I was the lowest of the low and honestly didn't know why. All day I kept fighting with these terrible feelings, telling myself there was no reason for me to feel that way and snap out of it. But after hours of trying to push it away I finally snapped.

I went to dinner in the university's cafeteria we were staying at and lost the girls I went with in the shuffle of kids. After trying to find people I knew I gave up, ate a plate of the first thing I grabbed, then ran into the bathrooms to cry. I cried silently in the stall for about 15 minutes. I felt completely inadequate to be a counselor for these girls, I wasn't connecting with them, I didn't know why I was there, I felt so alone and helpless, there was no one I could turn to. I ended up deciding I'd get through the week, quit and find another job.  I wasn't needed there and I wasn't good enough to to be there.

I pulled myself together and got ready to meet with the company before the dance. As I opened the door I saw a piece of paper left on the sink right across from where I had been. it said, "I'm sorry for whatever is going on. But I want to tell you God loves you," written in the hand writing of a young teenage girl.

As soon as I read that note I again started crying. But this time it was out of happiness. In that moment I knew without a doubt that God loved me. He knew me. He had heard me, a 22 year old girl, crying in the bathroom. He loved me so much that He prompted a 14 year old girl to leave a note in the bathroom, a note that changed me. I know God knows who I am and loves and will help me and support me through everything, even my weak moments.

After that moment everything changed. I shared the experience with the youth in my group and they changed. They opened up to the counselors, they opened up to each other, and they opened up to the Spirit. The week was still hard and exhausting, but I was able to be the counselor I needed to be and witnessed incredible miracles. And it all started with that little note.

So what I want to say to you, whoever you are who somehow found this post and is reading it now, is that God knows you and He loves you. Don't ever doubt that. He is there, quietly creating miracles that may take some time to see. Have faith and hold on. Those angels will come to give you aide. Trust in your God because He is right there and He will help you through whatever comes your way.