My Thoughts on the "Ordain Women" Movement

Before I get into what I really want to talk about, I need to say a little bit. First, I am a single 21 year old woman living in Utah. I'm a senior in college studying sociology with a business and visual arts minor(very random, I know). I claim to be a feminist  and am very passionate about how women are portrayed and treated in the world today. I am also a member of the LDS faith, have been my whole life, and know it to be true. 

With that quick little foundation of who I am, I'll get to the issue that I find to be a truly sacred topic. I don't know if people outside of the LDS church know, but over the past year or so there has been an increase in the “Ordain Women” movement within the LDS church. With General Conference right around the corner there has been a lot of emphasis on this subject. Today I was reading a blog post of a working LDS woman who shared her views on the different roles of men and women. I thought it was a well written article describing the differences between men and women, but then I got to the comments. As I scrolled down I was saddened by the amount of hurtful comments given on both sides. There was an attacking air in many of them, or even a holier-than-thou perspective. But the one comment that hit me was that from a woman not of the LDS faith. She said that after reading the posts/comments she was utterly grateful that she was raised in a different church where people respected the ideas of another, whether they be right or wrong. This comment made me think about how I would respond to her and to the other comments and questions left. As I pondered I began to see how the language we are using to discuss this issue is leading to a lot of miscommunication and is adding fuel to the fire of this already heated issue. I wanted to throw in my views and address some of the things that, from what I've seen, are being worded in ways that put both sides on the defensive.

For those who don't know what I am even talking about, there are many women and some men of the LDS church who believe that women have the right to bear the Priesthood, the power of God given to men. These members believe it is unfair that only men are allowed to hold the Priesthood. They state that women have the same capacity as men do to exercise this power and want to change the inequality they feel is part of this church. To this I simply call back to Prophets and Apostles who have made many statements to this point. Men and women are different and have different roles to fulfill. Men hold the Priesthood and women bear children. These are separate but equal eternal roles.

Now, here is what I believe is becoming part of this issue. As I read through the comments on this blog post, there were many who's explanations said things that seemed to be based in gender roles created by society. This was one of the key points of the comments attacking this article, saying that men and women are all different but equal and those who do not support the Ordain Women movement are basing their opinions on society created ideas. It was said that there are some women who have more masculine characteristics and some men who are more feminine. Yes, women are traditionally mothers, but isn't fatherhood equal to motherhood? Is it really the church's right to say women are barred from holding the priesthood power?

As a studying sociologist I see the words 'gender role' and instantly get defensive. I do believe society sets standards for each gender that, whether right or wrong, are engrained in us. It changes the way we think, the way we talk, and the way we act. Therefore, it is understandable that this has become another issue to attack at within this broader conflict. 

What it really comes down to is men and women are different. That is something that is not based in man-made gender roles. Out of the two genders, women are the only ones that are able to create and bear children. Yes, it is necessary that a man is involved and fathers are vital to a child's development, but it comes down to the woman to carry that child for 9 months and give birth. Essentially, women are the only ones that can give life. Men aren't able do that. They can help raise their children and be there for them, but they are not the creators of life. This is not a gender role created by society, that is something that just is. 

Now, as is told by the prophets and apostles, men are the only ones that hold the priesthood. We don't fully understand why but it has been revealed to us by God that men are the ones to hold this Priesthood. Just as women are the only ones to bring mortal life, men are the only ones that can bring the eternal. That seems to be demeaning towards women. Men, through the priesthood, are the ones that bring eternal life which, as we are taught, is the reason for coming to this earth. Are women really so worthless in God's eyes that they can't have the power to give that to their children? The answer is no. Eternal life is our goal, however it is completely unattainable without the mortal life. And mortal life, in turn, is worth nothing without the eternal. Just as mothers work with fathers to raise their children, the men work with women to help exercise the Priesthood. It is a cycle that needs both men and women in order to complete. These are not roles set by society, or by the church, but roles set by God. 

None of this means that we aren't different. This doesn't mean that some men can't have more feminine qualities or be stay at home dads. It also doesn't mean that women can't be more masculine or be the breadwinner for the family. It also doesn't mean we aren't allowed to question and seek for answers. We are all separate and unique individuals with different opinions and ideas. Our church was created because of a question. But the roles we have do not change with society, culture, or personalities. We don't have the answer as to why only men can hold the priesthood- it just is. But is just the same for women. Why are only women blessed to create human life? It just is. God made it that way, and if we believe in God we will trust Him.

Music

It's been a long time. My computer decided to not charge since coming back from Europe and I always feel guilty when I do something other than homework on school computers. But don't worry, I got a brand spanking new charger and life is good.

Anyways, I just quickly want to write about something I've been thinking a lot about lately. It's something I've always known but want to actually just put into words for the whole world to read(though I know I'm probably the only person to ever read this post. That's ok, I've come to terms with it). Well, this something is the power of music.

Music has always been a big part of my life. I grew up to the Beach Boys and the Rolling Stones. At 6 I started playing the piano. I sang in church choir at 12 and became the accompanist at the end of middle school, which was good move since singing is not my forte. Music is something I have always found peace in. Some of my most poignant memories have to do with music. I still remember the first time I ever recognized Guns n' Roses on the radio(I was sitting in the parking lot of Blockbuster with my dad and "Paradise City" came on. He turned up the radio and said, "Emma, this is Guns n' Roses." A life changing moment I will never forget). I remember the times I sang to Neon Trees with my roommates, or "It's Raining Men" with my guy friends. I remember listening to "Glitter in the Air" and crying because my boyfriend broke up with me, singing(or yelling) "Delayed Devotion" the next day. I remember when Br. Clema sang "Be Still My Soul" at a time when life seemed so unsure, and when Alyssa sang "Abide With Me, Tis Eventide" and my heart seemed to sing with her.

The older I've gotten the more fascinated with music and why those moments are some I will always remember. It's not just because I love it, but because everyone loves it. I mean, can you think of anyone that doesn't like at least some form of music? I've never met a soul. I don't think they exist. And here's why I think that. Music is something that does not come from this world. It is a heavenly power that humans crave because of the power is holds. Somehow a sheet of music is able to convey an emotion that we can't describe in words.

Have you ever wondered why we like listening to sad music during hard times? It's because that song seems to understand you. It is a comfort because, as you listen, you know you are not alone. You are not the only one to ever feel that way. It is real and true. It's the same during the happy times, when you blast the party music and just sing and dance! Music allows us to convey our feelings without speaking. You don't have to speak because it's all right there in that song. It justifies our emotions and helps us know they actually exist. That's why those moments stick out to me.

 I find this to be an incredible thing. I can't think of anything else on this earth that has this kind of power. I think that's one reason why every religion has music. It is a way we can convey our feelings about God in a way normal words cannot express. It is a way to rejoice and praise Him, a way that can be more powerful than mortal speech. I am not going to diminish the power of a testimony. Truth shared with the Spirit is the most powerful thing on the earth. But music can be a way to share that truth and a way to touch the hearts of those who may not feel the words.

I don't really know why I wanted to share my thoughts on this, but I've been thinking about it for quite awhile. Music is powerful. It is amazing and wonderful and truly a blessing. I don't know what the world would be like without music, but I know it would not be as beautiful.

My quarter-life crisis

 

Ok, so I've been thinking a lot about my life the past little bit. Ever since coming home from Europe(holy cow, did I just say that?) I've been wondering if the future I have planned for myself is right. Is it even good? Am I just dumb thinking I can do all that I want and be alright? What if there's something I completely missed and now I'm doing something that I shouldn't be? I mean, there's a big wide world out there and I'm working in the Cougareat! What am I doing with my life?

As you can tell, every once in awhile I think too much and my brain goes crazy. But I always have something to bring me back. This time it was by talking to Nancy, who is basically my second mom. I haven't seen her in 3 years and she came at the right time.

We went to Yogurtland and talked about school and Europe and my life goals. We ended up sitting for 3 hours in the car outside my apartment, talking about everything. That talk helped reaffirm all that I want to do in life. I have decided that i need to write this down so hat if I have another life crisis I can remember what it's all about.

What I want to do in life is work with youth and help them see how much they are loved. In my opinion, the problems in this world can be solved just by loving each other. I know that sounds cheesy and simple but just think about it. If we just loved each other we would be more understanding of one another, we would look past cultural or religious differences, we would not hurt each other physically or emotionally, we would see each other as we are and as we can become.

When I think about my teenage years I am saddened by how down I was about life. We all know this. 15 years old are plagued by this idea that no one understands them and that they know everything. I don't know if that could ever change but I do know that, in my life, once I realized I was loved I found hope.

Now don't get me wrong, my parents loved me to no end. They were always there for me and I completely took that for granted. But because of other circumstances that occurred in my life I felt like no one would care if I just disappeared. There was one night when I seriously contemplated running away. I angrily thought, "No one would miss me if I just left!" And then I heard a voice in my head say, "I will miss you." That is the one and only time I have literally heard the voice of the Spirit. I knew in that moment that I had a Father in Heaven that loved me and wanted me, a 16 years girl who was being completely foolish, to know that. And that one experience changed the course of my life.

Now I know that not everyone holds the same belief system I do. But I do know that the power of love is incredible and can change lives. There are so many kids out there who were not blessed as I was to have such an amazing family. They may have parents who abuse them or who aren't even there. They might be bullied in school or are being used by those they call their friends. Or they may just feel alone and helpless. Whatever the case may be, those who feel this way will turn to other things to feel accepted. They forget who they are, they forget their potential, they forget their worth.

My goal in life is to help youth remember who they are. Even if they do not believe in God, I want them to feel His love. I want them to know they are worth it, that they have the ability to become great, that they are incredible people capable of incredible things. I want them to know that they have someone to turn to at all times. I want them to know that they have someone who will love them no matter what. Because that brings hope and that brings change and that can change their lives.

I don't know yet how I will accomplish this. I don't know where to work or where to live or even what to do. But I know that this is right. This is the one thing I am completely passionate about and the one thing that pushes me to keep learning and growing. Because if I've helped at least one kid feel their worth then I've succeeded in life.

And that is my quarter-life crisis. It was long and cheesy in some places but it's all I want.

That time I went to Europe

OH MY GOSH I'VE BEEN TO EUROPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I had to get that off my chest. I can't even describe the past 10 days of my life. They've been stressful, tiring, a little unsanitary(yay hostels!), and the best 10 days of my life. I have seen so much and have learned so much and never want to leave.

Since I was a little girl my dream was to go to Paris. When people asked me where I wanted to go I'd say Paris without even thinking. However, with college loans and failed study abroad attempts, I never thought that would come true. It was another "one day" dream. But 4 days ago I stood in front of the Eiffel Tower and my dream was fulfilled. And let me tell you, it was everything I thought it would be and more.

Though I don't speak a lick of French and got laughed at with my pointing, the pastries were to die for and the crepes were fantastic. The city was beautiful and grand, with cathedrals everywhere you look  and buildings hundreds of years old. Just walking the city made me smile. I couldn't soak it up fast enough! I guess I'll just have to go back one day.

Then London. Cool city with tons of people. My last meal there included a chocolate cake that literally felt as though the heavens opened and shone down on me for 10 minutes. Then Stratford to see a Shakespeare's "As You Like It," a hilarious hipster heaven. Then to Cheltenham, a town out in the beautiful English countryside.

I'm flying home in 2 days and my grand adventure will be over. I'm sad to be leaving such a wonderful place, but I'm also ready to go back to where I'm from. I miss knowing the slang words, what each candy is, the people I go to church with, and sleeping in my own bed. I lived a dream, a glorious adventure filled dream and now it's time to find a new one.

And yes, Tangled is my favorite Disney movie.

Memorial day

Arlington National Cemetery

 With today as Memorial Day, I would like to write and remember the great men and women who serve our country every day. We live in a country that is free. That concept seems simple to us, but that is truly a luxury most in the world do not have. The concept of liberty and of inalienable rights is one that we are truly blessed to have. It is also constantly under attack by those throughout the world who wish to destroy the freedom we enjoy.

There are millions in the world who live every day in fear, fear of punishment for actions we in America take for granted. We are allowed to speak our minds, attend college, and worship as we choose. Women can vote, own their own homes, and compete with men in the workplace. Children are protected and the law is administered justly. These blessings are not found in much of the world today. And though the system we have does not run perfectly and the law is not always kept, we should feel blessed to live in this country and enjoy the rights that are protected within our Constitution.

My Grandpa, John R. Helms.

 Throughout the course of our nations history, there have been men and women who have fought valiantly to protect our God-given rights as human beings. From the the Founding Fathers to those serving now, we owe the life of this country. And not only do they protect us, they also fight every day to bring the same security to everyone.

I honor them for their sacrifice and will remember them always from their strength, courage, and love. How thankful and how blessed we are for those who fight every day to bring peace into this world.

Peace

 Sharing time! So, here's an experience I had last night that I wanted to share. I won't go into anything personal but I just wanted to share what I learned(or rather, re-learned). It's a beautiful doctrine that sometimes I need help remembering.

So, last night I was very sad about some things and didn't understand why I was struggling again when I had worked so hard to move past certain trials. Anyways, I took out my scriptures and read Mark 4:38-40, which takes place when the disciples were on the ship in the storm and Christ was asleep. It says,

"Master, carest thou not that we perish?" And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, "Peace, be still." And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. And he said unto them,"Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?"

Well, I read this and began to cry because it was exactly what I needed to hear. You see, I was sitting there asking,"Why am I alone and sad? I've worked so hard to do what I've been asked to do and I am still scared and lost. Carest thou not?" And the answer was the same as it's always been,"Trust me, have faith in me. Peace, be still."

There are times in our lives when we feel like the trials are too large, the sadness is too much, our burden is too heavy to bear. But we are not alone in our trials. The Savior is always there to calm the storms in our lives. He is there to lift us up, comfort us, and bring peace in times when it seems like there is none to be found. And all He asks is, "Do you trust me?"

Looking back on my life I have seen the guiding hand of the Lord and it amazes me how very perfect His plan is. I am happier now than ever before and that is because I know I am being lead to something much better. I know that the Savior is there for us at all times. We have no reason to be afraid because He stands with us. Don't lose your faith and don't give up. He will bring you peace.

An End

Well, the end of another semester draws near. As I look back on the past 9 months I can't help but be overwhelmed by how much I have grown and how much I have been blessed. 9 months ago I was in a sad place and so scared about the future. Though my circumstances are still practically the same, I have changed. It's amazing how trials can do that.

So, in commemoration of this year I decided to compile a list of the things I have learned.

1. We are never alone. No matter how dark the path seems we are never walking it alone.
2. School is important. Learn all you can. Not only does it help you see the world differently, but it also helps you to know yourself better(and as you can tell I am not an English major.)
3. Laughter really is the best medicine. Laugh about anything and everything. 
4. There can be joy found no matter the circumstances of life. Remember happiness is everywhere, you just have to find it.
5. To love someone means to accept them for who they are and seeing them as they may become. To love is to look past their flaws and see their potential. However, it does not mean you need to submit yourself to being used, or carrying heavy burdens that are not yours to bear. 
6. It's okay to be sad as long as you pick yourself up and start again.
7. Ice cream helps you not be so sad.
8. Friends and family can be your biggest support, even if you don't realize it at first.
9. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. It is real, it is true, and it creates miracles. 
10. Prayer is powerful. 
11. Though bad things happen, there are good and beautiful things in this world.
12. Running is the cure for stress, sadness, annoyance, anger, frustration, sorrow, loneliness,etc. Also, chocolate. That works too.
13. Music is heavenly. It has a power that nothing else on this earth has. 
14. There is strength found in scripture.
15. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the one true church on the earth today. 

And that's just a few things. All I know is that I have so much faith and so much happiness. Through trials we learn things we couldn't have any other way. We become something better than we are. Looking back on this year I know I have been blessed beyond anything I deserve, and for that I am grateful. And as this school year comes to an end I am so thankful for the new beginnings! Time for more learning and more growing. This is going to be a good year, I can tell. 

Good

 Tonight I just listened to a video on youtube, "Mormon Tabernacle Choir Flash-mob". (Yeah, that's right. MoTab has it going on!). They sang a fight song from the Revolutionary War at a memorial event. It filled me with so much peace and hope and thankfulness to those who fought, and continue to fight, for our freedom.

Yesterday were the horrible events at the Boston Marathon. I was appalled. Whenever I hear stories like that I am filled with such a deep sadness. I just don't understand how there can be such evil in the world. It pains me to think of the horrors that occur every day throughout the world. And yet I know there a good people in the world. When people come together to lift each other up, when they love and support each other, when you see people comfort those they don't even know, that gives me hope.

Though dark and scary things exist, the world is a good place with good people. There is beauty found everyday if we're willing to see it. Darkness cannot exist if there is light. And guess what? There is always light as long as there is love. That may sound cheesy but it's true. Love is the ultimate conqueror. It replaces despair with hope, sadness with joy, darkness with light.

I'll leave again today with another quote(this is another of my favorites. Get ready)

There was never a night or problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.-Bern Williams

There's good in the world, remember that.

Swimming Lessons

 Let me tell you a story.


Years ago, I was a swimmer. Not to brag, but for a little 12 year old kid I was pretty good. No Michael Phelps, but I was decent enough for coaches to push me harder than the others and tell me to join the swim team. It was pretty big deal back then, don't judge. Also, I beat all the boys. (Seeing the most popular guy in school punch the sand after getting second place is still one of the sweetest moments of my life.) My coach wanted me to keep going, but I was scared. Moving to a new swim team and while only knowing freestyle, how could I possibly do that? What if no one liked me? What if I was actually a bad swimmer and embarrassed myself in front of everyone?

All those thoughts now seem so dumb. You only know one stroke? Well, I'm sure they'll teach you the other ones. No one will like you? I'm sure at least one person will befriend the new girl. But you know, that didn't logically make sense in my head. Nope, those thoughts were the most terrifying possibilities that could ever happen. So what did I do? I quit.

My dad spent months/ years trying to get me back into the water and I wouldn't go. I still haven't  jumped in the pool other than for recreation since then. And that makes me so sad. I let all those 'what if's' turn into the biggest, what if I had kept going? I probably/most likely/most definitely wouldn't be an Olympic gold medalist or record setter, but I do sometimes think of all those people I didn't meet and the experiences I never had.

Now, I'm not one of those people who believes in continually beating yourself up over the past. There's nothing I can do about it now. And because I didn't swim, I was able to focus on piano, which has become one of the greatest joys in my life. I can think of nothing more peaceful than sitting down at the bench and letting those keys make music.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I allowed myself to miss out on an opportunity because I was scared. And that is no reason to quit. You can be nervous, scared, downright terrified. But don't let that stop you. You never know what could happen. Maybe you'll become the next great athlete, or the next rockstar. But at the very least you tried and you learned. Failure is a verb, it requires action. When people say to me, "Well, that did not turn out how I was expecting," I think to myself, "Good for you. You failed-you tried." Don't let fear of failure keep you from taking those steps.

To end, let me leave you with one of my favorite sayings:

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - Les Brown

Go out, be happy, have fun, and don't be afraid to fail. You never know what could happen.

Thoughts on a Mountain #1

As mentioned in my last post, I went to Zion's National Park a couple weeks ago. Our first day in Snow Canyon, we spent the hour before sunset on top of a mountain reflecting on the things we learned. Sounds cheesy, I know, but it was probably the highlight of my trip.

Anyways, we came up with a lot of things we had learned and I'd like to share a few. Especially with today being Good Friday, I've been thinking about the Savior and His Atonement. So, here's the first story.

Some of the mountains we climbed that first day were pretty steep. Me, being a little nervous of heights, decided it was best to scoot down on my butt on some of the more steep things. But as a result, I got a little dusty, and though most of the dust would come off, there was still a mark. My friend laughed at me the whole day because dust shows up pretty well on black pants. But, there's actually a good message there.  So here's thought #1:

Sometimes you fall and get a little dusty. But one day it will all be washed clean.

You see, sometimes we fall. We make mistakes, we mess up, we do things we shouldn't. It is so easy to get angry with ourselves. We tell ourselves that we will never do that again. And then we do it. And then we promise ourselves we're done for good. And then we mess up again. But we need to remember that, though we may fall, we will one day be washed clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

It is not possible to be perfect in this life. But the point of this life is to make the Atonement effective in our lives so we will one day be perfected. Heavenly Father knows that we are not capable of perfection on our own, that is why He sent His son. Christ is the only way we can become like our Father in Heaven, and yet He knows it takes longer than a lifetime to reach that.

That's why we have the Atonement. It is for those times when we make mistakes, when we fall, when we make that decision we probably shouldn't have made, and when we get scared and have to scoot our way through. Through repentance we are able to wash those marks away and become clean once more.

Since we are human we must still deal with the consequences of our actions. That's the faint mark left after the fall. But we know that one day it will be completely washed away. It's a daily process, something we must work at constantly and diligently. But the Savior has given us the way back. He has given us the way to become perfect.  

Taking the Step

I had an experience a couple days ago that has stuck with me and I feel like I need to share.

This weekend I was able to travel to St. George, UT to do some hiking. We spent our first day climbing around in Snow Canyon. One of the places we explored were these lava tubes, which are basically these caves you can climb down to made by lava millions of years ago. Pretty legit.

Well, the third cave we got to was a little difficult to maneuver. In order to get out, you need to get up to this ledge and climb onto another ledge that's about 4-5 feet off the ground, with basically no hand or foot holds. The easiest thing to do is have someone already on the second ledge to pull you up.

We were down in this cave with a group of kids. They were jumping around going crazy so we stuck to ourselves and climbed around the cave. As we were in one of the little tunnels, I heard crying from one of the little girls. I went out to see what was wrong and make sure she was alright.

She was the last one of the kids to get pulled out of the cave. Her dad was on the ledge, reaching out to her and saying, "Just give me your hand and I'll pull you out." But she couldn't do it. She stood there clinging to the wall, crying, wanting to reach her dad but too afraid to let go of the wall. I ran over and picked her up and her dad pulled her up onto the ledge.

I've been thinking a lot about that experience the past few days. The sound of her crying has stayed with me. She just sounded so scared. Then I understood.

You see, we have a Heavenly Father who is reaching out to us. He is saying, "You just need to give me your hand and I will pull you up to me." And we stand there scared.We know what we need to do, but that step seems too much. We can't move or reach out. It feels like there's no way we can get out of that hole. It's during those time that the Savior comes. He hears our cries and comes to us. He will pick us up, He will wipe away our tears, and He will lift us up so we can reach our Father's hand. 

We don't need to be scared of taking that step. We know that we have someone there to support us. And even if we fall or take a wrong step, we can never fall so low that Christ can't lift us up. The darkness that may surround us, the mistakes we may have made, the trials we have that seem to hold us back can never separate us from Christ. He is always there. Always. He will never leave us alone. Though we may feel lost and scared, we can trust that He will come and save us and lift us higher. And with that knowledge we can rejoice and find peace and happiness even during those times when we are walking blindly.

When you are that little girl, crying and feeling alone, remember that you have a Savior who will come and lift you up. Trust in His Atonement, have faith that He can heal and strengthen you. He will hear your cries and He will come.

Realizations

Well, here we go. I've had quite a lot on my mind the past week. I hit several year marks since certain events happened in my life and I took it as an opportunity to see how far I've come. And you know what? Life is pretty awesome. Ridiculously amazing. Beautiful, wonderful, fantastic!

Why, do you ask? Well, it all comes from knowing my Heavenly Father loves me. What more do you need?

I know what it feels like to walk in the dark, when everything seems to fall apart around you and you ask, "Why me? Why this? Why now?". But there is a change that comes when you recognize God's love. I spent a long time asking those why questions and being set in what I wanted. And you know something? I spent all  time time being sad and unhappy. 

But then I finally realized that Heavenly Father loves me. And then all these other things fell into place. 

You see, once you understand His love for you everything else falls into place. Because you know His love, you know He will never lead you astray. Because you know His love you know you are never alone. When you know His love you come to know His Son, Jesus Christ. And as you come to know Christ, you know that He truly is our Savior and gave us the way back home to live with our Father. And when you know that you can't help but be happy.

Now walking in the dark isn't so scary because I know I am not alone. I still have no clue where I'm going or what the Lord has planned for me but for the first time in awhile I know I am on the right path. I can feel it. I still don't know why I had the trials I had, no more light has been shed what the future holds, but I have the most incredible joy and peace knowing I am loved. It makes me want to dance around singing at the top of my lungs! Isn't it just amazing what love can do?